A friend recently said something that bothered me. And in some ways, it is depressing: all relationships end in break-up or marriage. Hell, a lot of marriages end in break-up. It makes romance seem futile. Yet in many relationships, there does come a point when the novelty has worn off and the nebulous idea of commitment is the only way forward. A lot of Harvard couples stall at this tipping point.
Why? We aren’t commitment-phobes. There are people here who spend more time planning Women In Business conferences than I would my wedding. If anything, we over-commit. What makes these Harvard relationships go kaput? What value do we place on these partners, who were lovers, roommates, pset buddies, best friends, all at once? Read the rest of this entry »
Formal season approaches, and for those of you whose prom experience consisted of breathalyzers, forced poses, and tuxes that made you look like a cater waiter (that is, all of you), this is an opportunity to recoup your losses!
First off, formal is primarily about your date. Don’t let the House Committees, with their themes and live bands and ballroom dancing lessons, persuade you otherwise. It’s Harvard. If you wanted finger food you’d go to a recruiting event.
So who should you take? A debate that my girlfriends and I have every semester is whether to invite a romantic interest or a good friend. The pros of inviting a good friend are that it’s likely to be less awkward; if you plan ahead you may wrangle a good dancer, and since you’re not too worried about impressing him, you can just re-wear the obscenely shiny gold dress that you keep on hand for Gilbert and Sullivan parties. He’s also probably already friends with your other friends, and all in all, this could be another Saturday night out, with fruitier drinks. Read the rest of this entry »
The best way to improve your dating life is to stop thinking of dates as a means to an end, i.e. an expensive outlay of resources in exchange for possible sex. Instead, think of each date as a self-contained experience that would be well worth your time and money even if things don’t end up working out between you and the girl. I personally suggest Celtics games, strip clubs, and hiking. Be active. Be efficient. Specifically, don’t do things on dates that you wouldn’t want to do were it not a date. If you think a day looking at glorified silly string at the MFA with Hist&Lit girl is going to end with a blowjob, well, the blowjob would have to be fluffer caliber to compensate for the headache.
Dates should never be stressful. They should be exciting, energetic, creative, a chance to try something new and show off what an incredible person you are. That early dating stage is when you’re both still putting your best faces forward. Afterwards, the girl gains ten pounds and stops shaving her legs. You start reminiscing about your time on kibbutz and how at least then, love was free. No, but really. Dates are fun! Read the rest of this entry »