A classmate and close friend of mine was interviewing for a job at a Manhattan-based hedge fund. After making it through to the final round, she was abruptly informed that there were no openings left but that she should apply again next year. She was crestfallen. But where most other students would have thanked the company for the interview and accepted the rejection, she was indignant. She knew they had made a mistake, and she told them so. The company could try to hire other students who knew more about economics and finance, she explained, but those same students would never be able to solve math problems like she could. The HR representative relayed the message, and the company agreed to give her another interview, this time with one of the co-founders. He was blown away by her analytic ability, and she landed the job. By shamelessly advocating for herself, she got her way.
If you are in the market for dates or for jobs, you can’t sit around and wait for people to notice you because chances are they won’t. Be direct. Be blunt. Develop and articulate your preferences. As incredible as it may seem, my friend’s story wasn’t an isolated event. The year after that incident, I interviewed at a Bay Area tech company. I was asked some brain teasers and some algorithm questions, and at the time, I thought it went pretty well. I found out a couple days later that my interviewers felt differently; I was turned away. Surprised (though in retrospect, I shouldn’t have been), I somewhat ridiculously asked them to interview me again. To my delight, they agreed. The lesson is that it generally doesn’t hurt to ask, and if you do ask, you may be surprised by the results. Read the rest of this entry »
I took a computer science class a while back which involved some amount of audience participation. Naturally a few people dominated. The most conspicuous was a guy in pastel shorts and twice-conditioned hair who would always make comments like “that doesn’t work in the edge case.” He was clearly bright. And he clearly knew it. I thought he was a douche-bag.
At the end of the semester, we ended up on the T together to the airport. We formally introduced ourselves. Referring to our mutual class, he said “Not the best social scene. I probably sounded like an asshole.” I made some non-committal noise in response. But I appreciate self-awareness, and right then and there, I liked him a lot more.
The moment we meet people, we make instant judgements of their character, appearance, and coolness. This is neither avoidable nor undesirable, so long as we recognize that we need not stick to our initial judgements. It is acceptable, indeed expected, that your perception of a person evolve as you get to know him better. That he seemed like an asshole in the beginning doesn’t mean he actually is one; it also doesn’t obligate you to forever think so. Read the rest of this entry »
The lack of eligible females is a common refrain heard at Harvard (and everywhere else). Yet I look around and see plenty of girls who are beautiful, brilliant, and determined. Even assuming an overly-generous evaluation on my part, there still seems to be a major discrepancy between the supply of dateable girls and the male perception of that supply.
Some of that discrepancy can be chalked up to bitterness on the male end (as the women of Harvard will be quick to point out), but the result still seems surprising. If you’re a nerd, there’s no better place to find a girlfriend than a school where people enjoy debating the relative merits of Python and Ruby and the relative demerits of Livy and Cicero. Your chances for a meaningful emotional and intellectual connection should be higher. Your complaints, if any, should be over things like looks. Read the rest of this entry »