Minor Changes

Changing your personality can be difficult. Here are some easy, surface-level things you can do.Talk Slowly – The problem with talking rapidly, as efficient as it may be, is that you come across as unable to hold other people’s attention. Why else would you be rushing to get everything out?Don’t Be Inquisitive – Whether you are conversing or flirting, it isn’t about you interviewing the other person. Talking to you shouldn’t be a chore. Good conversation has more to do with people taking turns making interesting statements (each related to the previous).

Don’t Be a Downer – If you want to enter a conversation, you have to maintain the energy level. If people are laughing hysterically over the story someone just told, you aren’t allowed to butt in with a complaint about your upcoming midterm.

Exercise – It relieves stress, makes you healthier, and makes you happier (there’s also the side benefit of looking better). Plus, it comes with a short-lived emotional high.

Dress Well – As ridiculous as it may seem, dressing well and looking good will make you a more effective individual. Toward this end, judge an outfit as a whole as opposed to judging individual articles of clothing. If you don’t know where to start, look at the mannequins in department stores.

Smile – You look more attractive when you smile. Better yet, you look like you’re having fun. So remember to think about pleasant things before entering a room full of people.

Make Eye Contact – Nothing conveys a lack of confidence like the inability to hold eye contact. A great exercise is to practice holding eye contact as long as possible (to the point of extreme awkwardness).

Don’t Be Too Quick to Accommodate Others – This includes moving out of people’s way, picking up something they dropped, and so on. The natural reaction for many well-intentioned individuals is to eagerly help. In this case, eager is overeager. Compensate in the opposite direction.

-Robert